I am devastated as only a few month ago we celebrated valentines day He got me a ipad3 took me to a nice hotel bed and bathroom full of rose paddles. We are either a family all the time or we wont be at all. After breakups, we are known to cut our hair, move to another state and make quick decisions based on a temporary emotional feeling, she notes. Mean while you no longer car because there just arent enough years left in my life to even care about. You knew I would beg at your feet. We have gone through alot in our marriage to include a long custody battle with my ex and having financial trouble years ago, as a result. 7. Also how about youre the one who threw him out because after losing your whole family he tells you that he hopes you die of cancer. I never had empty nest for longer than 3 months and things were much better between my husband and I. Drinking ,infidelity and porn being the worst, both on his part. Good luck if you think this fits him. Why she chose to lie about this i do not know, but she has been clearly hiding things from me for several months. I instantly felt fear, anger, and guilt wash over. I received deployment orders to head to Africa for a rapid response unit to help combat the Ebola virus and contain it by building ETU facilities. Things have been bad for awhile, but it is still hard to accept that it is over. The sudden realization sets in: my husband left me. We are in the office Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Pacific Time, and our phone number is 888-563-2112. my wife is never contented with the marriage and she keeps packing even with no good reason leaving the kids behind.the other day i had visited her she told me that i shld train to stay without her because she can leave me and get married 2 another man.i have really sacrificed 4 the good survival of this marriage bt i just feel that the push has come 2 shove and its the high time i let it go 4 the sake of my life ,assist please, Thank you for your comment, Paul. Im sure you guys had a blast but it took you 2 weeks to completely erase and destroy the beautiful thing we had. Its so weird! Ive suspected there is another involved but have no concrete evidence other than intuition & one or two very suspicious epidodes, combined with secrecy from her, as opposed to privacy. I was told that the neurontin was developed for treatment of *epilepsy* but that in certain cases, it worked on excruciating pain. He kept telling me he had to wrk 24 he shifts at a warehouse but when I asked where the warehouse was he wud gt defensive n angry so everythin started to make sense. The breakup of a relationship, or a marriage, can be a traumatic event. Once you enter your information, youll be directed to a list of therapists and counselors who meet your criteria. I havent slept in 3 days and eating is very minimal. I moved 800 miles away from everyone and everything I had to try to make this work for us and our 2 young children wasnt even 2 weeks and he left me and moved back in with her why do I still have hope why do I really believe that someday we will work things out? She moved on to another 20-something more suited for her. I guess I didnt mind it happening it was just the way it did and the lying about it. Why do this horrific act?? We did everything together, camping, hunting, fishing, holidays, and Netflix marathons of snuggling on the couch. She then started refusing to answer my calls, refusing to let the kids call me either. He consistently talks down to me, even though I am highly intelligent, like Im a child who needs scolding. to save to buy a house. We just stopped, as she put it. Here are 14 tips for women who still love their husbands, even though they left them: Life without your husband is a blessing. Turns out it was the best thing that ever happened to me. He sure didnt think that when we got married now did he. Sounds really immature when I look back over it now. May Han, a licensed marriage and family therapist from Beaverton, Oregon, says their abandonment could be due to a past trauma being activated by something in your relationship but, that may have nothing to do with the current partner.. But I give. It is amazing how they completely changed. 2. My wife of 17 years left me while I was at work we were planning a trip to Disney with our 2 boys . Take care Don. He lied to me or left out the fact that a job that he has worked at for 24 years and that he promised he would transfer with, was unable to transfer him. We started dating at 17 and married at 25. My girlfriend of almost 9 years didnt just have an affair she had and is still in a relationship with a married supervisor from her work instead of telling me that she found someone new or telling his wife and ruining his marriage he convinced her to call the police on me have me arrested for breaking and entering the house through an unlocked backdoor.i didnt find out about this relationship until after I was released from city cells with the conditions of my release being no contact at all with her and I cant go 200 meters near the house I had two visits with my three kids where on the second visit the children told me this man was coming to the house and was there after they went to bed the next day after that visit low and behold I was arrested for child assault(a complete lie of course)and now I cant see or talk to my kids either my lawyer says trial will be into the New Year for sure if I plead not guilty.so when you think you got it bad just remember my life. Its just unreal. Her parents were in denial as my wife was they also live 31/2 hrs away which is no excuse when I begged for their support. Her own mother confronted her and gave her 2 days to tell me. Where r u? I cannot forgive her even if I want to (and I know I should) what can I do in order to surpass this? It hurts to have been so stupid to believe she ever wanted it back at all, probably just guilt for what she did. I agree with you 100%, but how do you hang in there and try to fix things when only one of you is mature enough to realize that love is a choice, and that if you can get through the rough patch, things will get better? He is a sociopath who researched, calculated and executed a horrific crime on another human being with no remorse, empathy, compassion and humanity!! Except that I became his punching bag for him, for every bad day he had, every opinion or suggestions I had in discussions would trigger a denigrating response from him. We stayed in contact each time she moved, she slept over here or I slept over there. Sometimes when a person leaves, they are unhappy not because they dont love you, but because they are hiding something. Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. In shock I could barely breath I was on the floor shaking and he did nothing. I dont know if anyone will ever love me again! Loyalty, infidelity, honesty. I cant get over him.I love him so deeply its killing me inside. Just worry about yourself. He said he didnt want it to escalate so he left. Sage, yah that sounds like an affair and it sounds like she is admitting to it in her own way. !! I apologize for this somewhat sloppy reply I really dont know what to do. See a priest????? Heather omg I read your article you wrote and this is so real I honestly wish I had that support from you Im 26 years old with 2 kids and my life has been hurtful and heartbreaking within my relationship I dont want to drag a long story out but I recently got married in Jan and my husband just left me with no explanation in 2 months of our marriage but I have some proof on my end. And that this medication for *seizures* was effective *because* of the way my neurological system and brain was processing the lengthy aftermath of that injury. Over the Xmas period she started to become distant, but I put it primarily down to the fact that her grandad, who shes very close to, is now in a home with Alzheimers and it would be her first Xmas without him. he used me. I feel bad for those who do, because I dont even understand it. Open the door," said my dad. Completely unaware of what had transpired I was thinking we really needed to talk. I cried a little, but I didnt beg him to stay. I wish you all the best A month ago my partner of 4 years woke up got ready for work, was just about to leave when I asked him about meeting to go book our summer holidays he turned to me and said I dont think we should as I dont live you anymore Im leaving you. He is going back to his daddys at 30 years old because he will have no responsibility. My doctors didnt know how to help me. We both love our children and our siblings and dont want to hurt them more than we already have. It aint that easy. Kept promises: A promise, is a promise, is a promise, unless you are married to a narcissist. It doesnt take much, all it takes is a little time and effort to help you get through this hard time. I figured it just didnt work out with them but now our baby is 10 months and he does not pay bills help clean help with the kids. I had them sat night and she wanted them back Sunday, I said no, I want them the 2 nights we agreed on and kept them the second night. I dont have friends that I can confide in, I dont have family to talk to. As woman we can try so hard and bend over backwards. Catching up was fun, she was comfortable to talk to, to share life experiences with and before long we both felt the electricity we had known years ago was still there and strong as ever. And protect yourself because if shes not looking out for you you need to. Just feel like venting a bit. he gave all these other reasons but they were just excuses for the facts.. thus was about a month ago now. But I never wouldve left. See a priest. His family dont know what happens prior to him arriving alone, but I feel realy awkward and dont want them to think that Im snobbing them out. Im still not sure how he just left us like that. That we can t communicate, you werent there for me, we never had it right, every excuse in the book isnt flying with me. If he can just walk no strings attached then I dont want him back. We fell apart in every way possible. 4. My therapist told me she wanted her cake and eat it to. Why are you so hurt and feel this way? Thanks CassieD. How can he just forget about his family? Two months ago she said it was over with him. We have tried marriage counciling but are in a state of wait and see. Men can be relentless and because they do not think off of emotions like us, they tend to see ours as silly. I have cried more over the past eight weeks than during my entire life. From the very first dose, I felt the pain step down and every day afterward, it became less, until, in a short time, it was gone. Hoping she would relax a little. She refuses to put in any real effort with the kids too, guess that comes as no surprise as you really have to be that way to have done THAT to them. Now, she wont even speak to me as apparently Ive never helped her, or understood her sickness in her eyes. My husband left me and I am wondering how you are feeling? There is a Creator of the Universe who cares about you and wishes nothing but the best for your life. They are just girls. I will follow this for now. They are now together and I know she had feelings for him whilst we were together. With research saying couples lose the Im so madly in love with you spark after 2 years at most, probably lots of couples wind up feeling like companions. Please help? 1. Fed up of the assumptions that there is another man involved ha! It was considered marital money. Online forums are places where people come together to share their experiences with one another. Everyone I know has been together for years and are still madly in love. He obviously had no intentions of returning. I have had the same thing happen to me its heartbreaking I know exactly what you are going through stay strong! Youre not the one on Psych meds, youll be fine. Persistent denials coupled with ego aggravates everything . and more lately photos on the Internet with him on holiday with a past flirt that came to light on a social net work . By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy.org'sTerms and Conditions of Use. If it comes to the point of separation, at least the pain will be temporary. Ive been with my wife over 12 years married over 2. For me Im hoping we can get back to normal but there is some doubt. He has a lot of health issues. People are self-centered and do not think of the people they hurt. I feel like Im walking on eggshells when around him. Dont believe it. Feels like Im physically dying. Do not allow someone to ever make you feel less or wrong. She did move back in with me, but only for a short time, 4 months, and then she moved out again to the same relative. From this list you can click to view our members full profiles and contact the therapists themselves for more information. Then we just decided to move. Since that day my wife has changed. I wish I had an answer for you. The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Weve always argued, thats how we get along, but each time someone says Ive had a gutful of this there is an underlying hurt of all the things said when you get back to normality. I dont understand how someone can throw you out of your own house . I know it may seem a bit weird but I stumbled upon this site just the same way. After thirty years it was very abruptly gone: torch extinguished. 2. Here's what the research says on why it happens and how to cope. Why hasnt society caught up with that? What You Need to Know When Your Partner Leaves. Some of those things that seem like just cute little quirks can be the tip of the iceberg. They will never know how grateful I am. Always go with your gut instinct and protect yourself until you feel safe again. Just a few years ago, however, I was finally diagnosed with this awful personality disorder. I am never able to maintain my anger for any length of time but never the less I am a poor former of words while angry so it is easy for me to see how I may have said something I didnt truly mean I went to my room to get some clothes and on the bed was his stained boxers next to her stained panties. Sometimes youve got to just let it go. We have had plenty of problems since we had kids together but we were both Farley young when this happened so that could be the problem. . He said that over the years we relied too much on each other and have nothing to show for it. Please u did not say anything concerning my case, am in Cameroon, and we have less of such facilities like therapist on psychological or marital issues. And most importantly, they have the ability to be themselves and to own all the happiness that they deserve. I know he broke your heart and betrayed every single romantic connection you ever had together, but that doesnt mean he cant change. If you need help finding a therapist, you are welcome to call us. And she told me everything. So feel free to cry and scream as much as you want because its perfectly normal to hurt. It is so hard I know.. but Im living proof that you can and will trust again if you allow yourself to believe. Their loss. ..u have given me strength. I am going through it myself. I was sick but it didnt matter. Have you thought about maybe having the teacher of your oldest daughter call DYFS? It's pathetic, but true. Apparently, like the physical pain, and the way I processed that, the emotional pain and mental obsession I suffered, was on automatic; it was a LEARNED response that had obviously been running, on perpetual pain, not unlike continuous *seizure* activity. Move on and dont look back you deserve better then that some times broken glass need to stay broke dont try to fix it sweep it up and throw it away GOD is gonna put your soul mate right in front of you bless you and Carrie on you dont need that to be in contact in front of your children.its her lost dont take her back eitherthen she win. He wants to be there for me, still my bes friend and has so much respect for me. I didnt need someone to be whole. 1. But now it's been only two weeks since he left and . Use your resources when someone is trying to mess with you . theycome to realize is this it! I really am discouraged because the two councilors we have seen have only listened to my husband and not really me! I would always find pills in her pockets , on the floor, in her car , in her purse in our cabinetry allloose pills. Ive been single for almost two years now and I will be for a while longer. If you would like to consult with a mental health professional, please feel free to return to our homepage, https://www.goodtherapy.org/, and enter your zip code into the search field to find therapists in your area. It can be rough to feel as if you are on your own. Drugs and cheating were problems in the past. Your partner doesnt have anything in common with you anymore. That over the life of our marriage, the effects of my early traumas (that were left un-touched and that went unnoticed by even myself) caused the very values that attracted her to me or me to her had changed so much and that she must have been in so much pain herself, that she did what she did to herself, and to me. I am the one who needs help, not him. Not 2 weeks after she left she told me she has to learn to love herself get things good with the kids then we can work on us. 1. The correct answer is not to say I dont want to be around someone miserable. And you cant necessary believe everything she says. It is so heart braking, that I can feel my heart hurt.My husband makes our marriage failure my fault. Then the answer is simple she wasnt the one for me and it got me thinking how bad of a person she was to me . He said it shouldnt be more than 2 hours. But, when we moved we had to give away everything we owned or sell what we could. Youll be ok. So even though this is anecdotal evidence at best, if you are suffering for so long over something traumatic that has created a lifetime of grief for you, I would suggest that you speak to a doctor about trying treatment with neurontin for a while, and seeing how you feel. Look for ways you were critical or controlling. Hey there. She is looking for a new Hm and we are still all in the same house. it will come . Then in 2014 it got really bad . Needless to say that this same man left and is livng with someone else (who I believe is his ex). I had no clue what was going on behind my back. He also uses the excuse that my 2 sons, not his btw, are too much for him to handle. We spoke a lot he told me he had met someone else but it meant nothing to him apparently. The reason I write this is again there is evil and i have seen it all my life but the most important thing to remember is the signs people give. The pain is unbelievable and I am only struggling from day to day. I think its horrid because they are not educated and working as a medical professional in the industry they are giving really bad advice. Maybe you feel that you are loved under certain conditions only, or you keep up a facade for your partner. Hello, I have a question about coping with my wife leaving me for someone else. That describes my husband exactly and I get sucked into thinking its my fault. This always seems like something that can be worked on or fixed, but when two people live separate lives, they can eventually grow too far apart. Well, back story. My organs were beginning to shut down, and I wound up at the hospital. I genuinely believe she has and will continue to put the children in even remote danger by having what I would consider strangers move into their place. I see him on occasion for months have passed since we actually exchanged any communication, recently exchange some emails regarding my children who are now a senior in high school and a sophomore in college. She is married too and both of us have two small children. Just be prepared if you do this, you may see certain things that can really hurt you. This happens slowly and mysteriously until, one day, there are no common interests and someone gets bored and wants to move on. In love relationships between two adults, though, shared power is healthier than a one-up, one-down power imbalance. He has no emotion or seems to even care. I took a job overseas to help the financial situation of my home. Remember : you dont want to be with someone that doesnt want to be faithful and loyal to you. I said that is fine, i am done with always fighting with you. My son is in the same school as this womans daughter and my husband has already been talking to this woman about the kids being step-siblings. She mightve been young and had settled down with kids at a young age and wanted an escape, but with that Guy it wont Last and if it does she wont be Happy. I dont get it. The GoodTherapy.org Team. Obviously, you wanted to marry him/her and you knew that marriage was tough. I did everything I could with her and for her and for us with the hope, the dream that we would be together the rest of our lives. Any time i try to talk to her to tell her the pain I am going thru being apart from my kids and missing her but she gets upset then she blocks my phone and texts. I lost my two step daughters, house, friends and family as well. To make things better. So you have a spouse with mental illness, divorce is on the cards, and even though you know it's the right thing you cannot stop yourself from feeling crippled with guilt. You may have noticed unhappy employees joking about wanting to burn down their . Wed been having problems. You can search in your area by entering your city or ZIP code into the search field on this page: https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. It feels a bit embarrassing to except the money that she wants me to have, but at this time with my current situation, I need it. Well I was very scared and in a state of nervousness myself. I feel so alone, so forgotten, and it some respects even used a little. I cant cope with the pain of my break up. Please help me with the divorce decision please. It's the one that causes depressed partners to say they're no longer in love and have never loved their partners. Someone please help I feel like dying inside but I dont want to loose him I am in pain cant stop crying . Can anyone help? If you feel lost and hurt by this vast life turmoil, you have come to the right place for help. Its been a year and i havent moved on and i try so hard.ive had therapy. It just goes to show that when people are emotional can become defensive and only understand whats written in their own way regardless of whats written, from reading some of the comments. My wife was on chat rooms after 24 years and told me she is very unhappy You deserve better . My son also gets a survivor benefit which I sparingly use but He mooches food my family you name it. I am very close to his family especially his mum and he has said hes very unhappy his mum remains close to my daughter and i. You have to let go of the past and move on with your life. I always try to communicate with her pushing to know whats going on but she will pick offence and let in argument. I will relate it to what I experienced; maybe it will help someone else. We had 2 amazing little girls but right after the second one her first Xmas, 10 days before my wife says shes going to get Advil and doesnt come home. It is the most painful thing ive ever experienced. 1. with my kids asking the same question and my narcissistic ex looks like a victim of a situation that just didnt work out as we grew apart as he puts it. First of all i feel sorry for you i know where your coming from.my wife left me after 16 yrs. I am in shock. My fianc and I live far away from each other and maybe see each other every other weekend. Its up to you whether you can see them through. That we argue all the time and that things werent gona change. I told my wife straight away (within 2 hours) out of guilt and respect. She then admitted to a 7 month emotional affair with this guy at work. I later found out she moved into the house her male boss was selling. I dont know who to treat him. Im in Oregon. The unfortunate truth is unless two people are willing to work on a marriage it will never work. You probably thought we were going to say go get yourself a puppy or something like that. Kind regards, The GoodTherapy Team, It is a real shame that my ex wife turned out to be a real filthy low life, since at that time that i was married which i was the very faithful and committed one in the relationship. I just wanted a quick fix or at least something that made it definite, an answer, to know there was someone else.I wish I had something else to tell you. I found out she already had a rental before she even told me. Im just a hopeless Romantic i guess that loved my wife unconditionally. Scharnett-King K. (2022). My ex mistress got me arrested and the charges were dismissed by he stood by her as if I was wrong the judge agreed with me though I was telling the truth. I will admit to being a bit of a pain Im a house wife and he would come home some nights and i would complain about something that happened at home during my day and it would cause a row because he felt as if I was always moaning at him. However, when the reflection becomes self-berating and criticisms, it maybe adds more pain to an already painful situation.. She has not even called to see how our son is doing and its been 10 days. On a recent vacation she screamed at a elderly relative proclaiming them evil for drinking a glass of wine. I guess Im just going to have to accept that hes not coming back. I was so scared and so alone and it was all of a sudden. So, if you want to give your marriage another chance,watch his simple and genuine video here. You will get through it. My wife and I have been together as lovers for 13 years. A girl who is blinded by love. to do the same.

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