Stefan Urquelle: Steve, what's up with your cousin? Carl: Rachel, Carl was my great grandfather's name and there is no way that I'm gonna change it. Rachel Crawford: She keeled over leading a game of Simon says! Dadadadada! It is always tomorrow with that boy. [removes Carl's napkin from his shirt and tosses it on the coffee table]. 1 The Shrink Machine Was Made To Make The Winslows Plenty Of Money. Steve Urkel: Hi everybody! Steve Urkel: I'm more of a polka kinda guy. You are such a sweetheart. Carl Otis Winslow: March 24th, Raoul's houseboat is beautiful. Stefan and Myra of left stunned]. Why are you guys dressed like that? Oh, good. Stefan Urquelle. Check it out: Urkelbot: [Dirty Harry Impression] Go ahead, punk! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: No. The people that did this to us are teaching the same GARBAGE to their kids. Can you imagine that? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: DAN DRUFF? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [under laughing gas, laughing] I just realized, your name is Doctor Smiley. Carl Otis Winslow: Or in my case, Hello Rubber Chicken. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh well Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean to tell me that the Army screwed up the paper work again. Why would somebody do this to me?' Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Serious. Why, how low can you get? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Stephan] Laura Winslow, you are the sun, the rain, and the wind that flowers my soul. We're getting dirty looks from old people! Eddie: I don't believe wat just happened, dad took Waldo to the bulls game. It's the closest I'll ever get to marrying you- thats why I wanted you to have this- no strings attached- just the one to my heart. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, I'm here for you, baby. [Rachel walks into the living room with Richie's broken penguin beak, coutesy of a jealous Judy]. Laura Lee Winslow: Steve, could you go a little faster? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Every day for 6 months. Steve Urkel: My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. Harriette Winslow: Carl, those are my personal and private thoughts. [opens fire at Urkelbot who catches all the rounds in his hand], Urkelbot: [Urkelbot walks up to the robber and drops the bullets on the floor before lifting the robber off the floor with one hand], Urkelbot: [Terminator Impression] Hasta la vista, baby! But, you're a teacher, Ms. Steuben, and a daaarrn good one. I'm jealous of Todd and you want me to help him. Steve Urkel: [thinking he's playing hide and seek with Laura, Eddie, & Judy and a shower starts running] That shower running doesn't fool me Laura! Steve Urkel: Laura's got the highly infectious mucus-nasal-osis-inflamicus. We're starved. Dad took Waldo instead of me. You're making me blush. He acts like a gangster, gangsters hate cops. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well for one thing, I can't feel my toes. Let's keep this one! Steve Urkel: By any chance, is that something you enjoy? In fact, do you know what it is Harriet? Don't mess with Mrs.Bonecrusher! Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Well I for one am appalled. And it's all my fault. Well, that's gonna stop right now! Steve Urkel: Why, of course it can! That one friend who says going to gym will solve everything. Carl Otis Winslow: Yes and that's not all. Steve Urkel: Oh, please, Laura. What's up? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well why aren't you? This is fantastic! [goes to the refrigerator] No root beer? Harriette Winslow: Well, Eddie said something came up, but he promised he'd empty the trash tomorrow. Whoa, I'm being pushed back in! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well, so is Urkelbot! Weel Good Lord man, she's an overnight success story. Steve Urkel: But, I've been practicing and my progress is impressive, even if I do say so myself. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, suppose I arrange for you to meet Johnny Gill personally. Curtis Williams: I'm Curtis Williams. White . And then there was the time we went camping and we were in dyer need of a generator and we just plugged the toaster into Uncle Elijah and the Pop Tarts were flying. Hey, what were you doing in my closet? [kisses Laura] Love you. Judy Winslow: Who wants to read about cheese? Who does these things? Harriette Winslow: Are your parents happy with the new you? Eddie didn't have to come back here and confess. Eddie: [after he has heard her quickly renouncing her love for him] Myrtle, what's my life going to be like without you in it? Steve Urkel: Hi Harriette, hi Laura, hi Harriette, hi Laura, hi Harriette, oh look, it's Laura! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: It was on his tongue! I've decided to retire from the theatre arts department. Carl: I just had the worst day of my entire life. Especially this one, since Urkel breaks the fourth wall at the end. You know, Harriette, It's the thought that counts. [stares at the racist cop] Black. Would you reward me with a kiss? I was kickin' butt. Steve Urkel: You said, "Get a life, Steve", A week ago you would have said, "Get a life, TURBONERD". It was the most terrifying five minutes of my life, second only to watching Lord of the Dance! Played by Jaleel White, Urkel joined "Family Matters" at the end of its first season, which one of his castmates says was a production decision that changed everything. Steve Urkel: Why, come back here, you little hussy! Ms. Steuben: But here you are. Harriette: Well, if he remembers you, he's used to you looking like a jerk. Waldo: Life is short, and so it Gary Coleman. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh don't worry they promised to come back tomorrow. My parents play this with me all the time! Everywhere you look, TV, movies, magazines, all these 90 pound people, smiling, dancing where do they get the strength? Harriette Winslow: Oh no no no. Oh, I see. Carl Otis Winslow: Better, I locked him up. Laura: Waldo, what's with Steve, he's acting wierd, even for him! 2023. I'm Stefan sweet thing. Lt.Murtaugh: Do you know that woman Winslow? Lt. Murtaugh: Keep the pace, Mr. Backwards Hat! Every year, my relatives send me money in hopes that I won't visit them! This has never happened before. Carl Otis Winslow: Might have. Rachel Crawford: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! You're grounded for two weeks and you are to stay away from my car until it learns self-defense. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I'll bet that's what the bug was thinking, too! Carl Otis Winslow: The guy who wrote The Three Musketeers? ABC/Warner Bros Remember Steve Urkel? Harriette: Come on, sweetie, let's get you home and then I can put some antiseptic on those cuts. Steve Urkel: Well, actually, this is Eddie's story. Harriette, THERE IS A CAR IN THE LIVING ROOM! I can teach you how to cook. Robber: [threatens Steve] You! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Carl, you lazy slug! Laura: So, Myrtle, how long are you gonna be around? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: It was Jan Matzeliger, in 1883. Laura Lee Winslow: Most people don't know that. Urkel pronouns are the best. Why he showed great strength of character and what's his reward: you fire him. You think I'm fat. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Uh no, Waldo, state your name. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Steve as Stefan] Steve? Steve Urkel: [Steve is suing Carl on the TV show Citizen's Court and Waldo has been called as a witness] Waldo, how did you feel about Pablo? Harriette Winslow: Carl, out first table was next to the entrance where everybody was waiting to be seated. How did you know? It was my nickname in preschool! Self respect. Lady in Strip Club: Shut up and shake your booty! Included in the potential "Did I Do That?" We've got cheerleaders taller than him. Steve Urkel: I have a spectacular evening planned! Waldo: Thanks for helping me find the gym. You know, I was exposed to this sort of thing when I was growing up, but I always hoped it would be different for my kids. Carl Otis Winslow: [after being frightened by Pablo, the stick bug] Did you see the size of that thing? Stefan Urkelle: Wake me, shake me, break me, but baby, don't forsake me. I couldn't turn right around and refuse to go out with him. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Make one, then Xerox It! And to top it all off you gave me an old card that I already have. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Waldo! And I just got the wax sucked out of my ears! Steve Urkel: Hey, I was following Eddie's instructions. Steven Quincy Urkel is a fictional character on the American ABC/CBS sitcom Family Matters, portrayed by Jaleel White. [Urkel is playing Danny Boy on his Swiss Melody Chimes and Carl is furiously awaken by it. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: How could you mess this up? It's either a number or a letter! Steve Urkel: Danger's my middle name! What did you do? And since no one will play with me, I have to say so myself. I'm finished with this witness, your honor! Harriette: Yep, they were yelling at each other and bumping bellies. Think of the possibilities.". Steve Urkel: [Steve picks up the cord to the satelite dish] Sloppy, Sloppy, Sloppy! Steve Urkel: Uh, Eddie, is this a bad time? Excuse me Waldo, is there something written on your arm? Myrtle Urkel: Oh, how true, how true! Steve is embarrassed that he didn't walk out the door faster. Steven Quincy Urkel: Land sakes, woman. I'm going to give you an 'A'. You're taking me out for dinner at Chez Josephine's. Harriette Winslow: So Oona how are things in Altoona? And OOHHH, and him! Laura Lee Winslow: [pushes some things aside] I can't pitch in right now. Harriette you're the one who said you're fat. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Oh they love the new me. You know that in Kenya, "Urkel" means "a benign cyst on the foreleg of a wildebeest"? Alright. Doo da doo da. [Goes to feel his head]. Then he unfolds it] Well Tell me again. Look I clued everybody in. Rise! There is no Steve here. Eddie Winslow, front and center! Laura Lee Winslow: If you have to ask, pass. If I remember correctly, the safest place to be during a nuclear explosion is in a reinforced basement. Harriette Winslow: Now let's hit the sack. Harriette Winslow: You can't blame them for walking, Eddie. He finished his Christmas shopping weeks ago and never asked me for a penny. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Carl and his father planned on doing a lot of things together, but they never got the chance. Then instead of admitting it, you let us spread a log in Lake Michigan. Originally slated to have been a one-time only character on the show, he soon became its most popular character and gradually became its protagonist.. Steve is the epitome of a geek/nerd, with large, thick eyeglasses, flood . [Greg leaves as Willie walks in with Waldo and the crowd boos him. Second question. Steven Quincy Urkel: Don't interrupt me! Stefan Urkelle: Go home, go home, GO HOME! There's room for you and there's room for me although let's be quite honest, you take up a lot more room than me. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, I mean every word, sweetheart. Laura: [gasps] I'm sorry, I'm so sorry please forgive me. Now let me get this straight, you dented the car. Why, you might as well drop a boulder on my foot, shove bamboo shoots under my fingernails, or scoop my eyeballs out with a melon baler. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [He walks towards Eddie and pulls out a folded flyer he took out of his pant pocket. And we practiced for six minutes! Carl Otis Winslow: After you left, I saw your boy Fresh Squeeze at the door. [Notices no one is there anymore] Well, I thought it was a good story. Laura: Not when the bomb is in the basement with you! Would you reward me with a kiss? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No thanks, Eddie. Could you write that A down on a piece of paper? Steve Urkel: [cracks up] Oh, that's rich! I'm drawn to you. Steve Urkel: I can't believe this! Harriette Winslow: Harsh? How much do I owe you for parking? Waldo: We rented us a limo station wagon. Ok, just give me a couple of days and I sould have it fixed. He's never used his! [Carl hits the mantel] Carl. What's for dinner, milk and cookies? Rachel Crawford: Right. Carl Otis Winslow: I told him I was taking him over to see you. Steve Urkel: Well, Laura, do you realize what you're asking? Harriette Winslow: Carl, I save every card you give me. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: That stinks. Estelle Winslow: Carl! Steve Urkel: Uh no. It's not fair. Harriette: [still unsympathetic towards Eddie's selfishess] Fair? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [voiceover, as Johnny Danger] So there I was, staring death right in the face. Now, I'm gonna give you a compliment. Whem I'm unhappy about something, I say so. Harriette Winslow: Carl I am not a weak, wimpy woman whose afraida to speak her mind. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: As long as you're up, bring me a piece. I got a nosebleed at birth. From 1989 to 1998 (via IMDb ), White . Uh, we're, uh, playin' hide and seek! Carl Otis Winslow: Out for a walk around the block. Carl: Are you implying that you're not having a good time? Pick-up lines get a bad rap for being cheesy and cringe-worthy, but if you start your conversation with the right dose of interest and humor, you may end up scoring a date or a number. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Oh honey, I hope they don't cheer too hard. Steve Urkel: Uh-oh. And I'll be coming home tomorrow. So long! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll miss Waldo. So go ahead, FIRE ME! Now, what you do on your own time is your business. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Waldo, You make up 1,000 flyers, Waldo Geraldo Faldo: But I'll get writer's cramp. Waldo: [after thinking a moment] Ok. Laura Lee Winslow: What you did for me tonight was really special. Eddie: Dad you embarrassed me in front of my friends. Laura Lee Winslow: Did they let you take one? Rachel Crawford: I'm what? Laura: She didn't need a hairstylist, she needs a fairy godmother! Waldo: Man, they didn't even know who we were. I can see my dad! So, is it all right with you? Myra Monkhouse: Mr.Winslow, I am very sorry. Rachel Crawford: [to Harriette] He's not gonna make him quack. But I have feelings, too. I may get a B. Laura: Dad, this is serious. No one's ever called you 'shrimp'. Carl Otis Winslow: I do not and keep your voice down the neighbors might hear you. My zipper." 5. Laura Lee Winslow: Oh you're not a sorority, you're a bunch of vicious, stuck up barracudas with teased hair and push up bras. Steve Urkel: And I'm Steve Urkel! Carl: Overreact? Carl Otis Winslow: Well Harriette, what are those people teaching down at that school? Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: Fuffner, I've heard of some low things in my time, but forcing Laura to go to the dance with me is plain dispicable. I just spend two hours talking a guy off a ledge, then found out he was a window washer. Richie Crawford: I can break all this stuff. I was not abrasive. Rachel Crawford: Harriette, we've got to talk. Laura Lee Winslow: I know, but he said 'get lost, Laura'. [music abruptly stops] Look at yourselves. Chico! Harriette Winslow: And it would be nice if you would support me sometimes instead of hiding behind your napkin and caring what the other people think. Laura Lee Winslow: No it wasn't. Mondo do du chok! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, do you mind if your old grandmother tells you a story? Carl: Rachel, you're putting entirely too much filling in those. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Yup. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Why are ya gonna do that, Willie? Harriette Winslow: What a miserable evening. Waldo: Cheating it wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. And the reason it hurts is because I've tried very hard to be your friend and all you've done is take advantage of me. Muskrat Time! Ms. Steuben: Get a hold of yourself, Steven. You have a lot of qualitites girls really go for. The only reason I asked you to be my partner was because I was worried about my grade. Where did you get the money for this? Laura: Sure, Steve. Upload. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I almost wore that same suit. Harriette Winslow: No, you don't have to remind me of nothing. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I just feel so helpless! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Don't you worry, I'll work on him. In the latter half of Family Matters, Steve started staying with the Winslows as his parents didn't want him around. Carl Otis Winslow: How about if I convince Laura to go out on a date with you. Laura: Well, then not even in your dreams. Harriette Winslow: [enters the house and sees Curtis] Hi. I'm starved. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Carl Otis Winslow: Well yeah. I had 8 shots of Espresso, a 6-pack of Jolt Cola, and a large bowl of Froot Loops with extra sugar. Steve Urkel: Oh, I am so glad you said that! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Harriette, there is a child outside digging up your azaleas. Just you and me. Maxine Johnson: Was there a line to get your pictures taken when you guys walked in? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I got one of those once, did you know the sidewalk isn't a passing lane? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Steve, how did you get so good at checkers? Laura, please. Lionel: Really? Rachel Crawford: It's almost impossible to find a job these days. Harriette Winslow: Then clean it up, I'm still on strike. Laura: Look, I owe you an apology. Quotes.net. No! [He and his partner grabs Willie and Waldo]. Steve Urkel: Loving you is like trying to touch a star. Waldo, you may go now. Steve Urkel: [collecting] Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Ms. Steuben: [after seeing Waldo's assignment] Waldo, this is superior work. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Ok, you talked me into it. then removes his hand]. Carl: I don't have to take this, I'm going home! Waldo Geraldo Faldo: What'cha gonna do, Willie? Eddie Winslow: [at the frat party] Steve, why are you wearing a toga? Laura: Steve Urkel, you are the most annoying human being that I have ever met! and-so-the-balance-shifts-blog. I love ya too much to build you a dud! Myra Monkhouse: Eddie, Waldo? [to Steve] I'm wearing you DOWN, baby! Harriette Winslow: For my birthday, you bought me an exercise trampoline. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [nervous laughter] Great Wedding, huh dad. Rodney Beckett: Steve, come on outside. That's not enough time for Rambo to blow anything up. Harriette Winslow: You eat all that ice cream and you can kiss your diet goodbye. I'm in college. My, what strong arms. Eddie: Did Halle Berry return my phone call? Laura Lee Winslow: [in tears] Daddy, everything's a mess! Carl Otis Winslow: No. He doesn't have the advantages to see how good the cops are like our kids have. There's no justification for this behavior! [Steve thinks Rachel is in love with him, but she is really in love with another man named Steve]. Rachel Crawford: Steve!, Steve! Stefan Urkelle: Oh no, I didn't shut off the machine on time. I didn't kiss you. Weasel: Yeah chill. Ouchith! Gun, Carl. Gosh I bet that's never happened before. Steven Quincy Urkel: Gee, I don't know, the speedometer only goes to thirty. "Some people are ignorant, they're afraid, they hate anybody and anything that's different. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Where are we going, Willie? Edward! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What kind of plans? Where do I sign? "Tomorrow, Dad!" Steve Urkel: I've never tried out for athletics before and the equipment list says that every guy should wear a cup. Steve Urkel Had Some COLD lines for Laura and we all aint peep it Follow N Subscribe https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLt1bradMOW81OkAFlIZvfw/subscriberhttps. In the 1991 episode, Steve Urkel was the cousin of D.J.'s friend Julie (Tasha Scott), who gives Stephanie Tanner (Jodie Sweetin) some valuable advice, after learning that she has to wear reading . Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Carl hasn't moved that fast since he chased a doughnut down hill. Heapingly, overflowingly, full! Get down from there! Not bells, Swiss Melody Chimes. A small gastronomic goof up. Midway through the first season, the show introduced the Winslows' nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel (Jaleel White), who quickly became its breakout character and eventually the show's main character. Newsflash, Eddie! These kids are gonna ruin everything, they have to go. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Wow. [finds a note hanging on the door] Oh my God. He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. The Its PurpL logo features the young mug of White as Steve Urkel, with his signature Coke-bottle spectacles and high-top fade haircut that blends into a purple haze riding above the floating. In Season 1 he was a supporting character and made his first appearance as a background character in Rachel's First Date and had his first major role in "Laura's First Date", however as of Season 2 he was officially considered a main character . Steve Urkel: Well, isn't that just a FIIIINE kettle of fish? Carl Otis Winslow: That's right, that petition was a great idea. Rachel Crawford: It's okay, Steve. [heads for the stairs - Carl grabs him by his suspenders] I almost got ya there, Carl. College Problems Student Problems Willie Fuffner: [Grabs Steves gloves] Urkel, you are dead meat! The next minute rump roast! [Carl steps in the chamber and Stefan starts it up]. Would you rather be buried or cremated? No, you're not invited. He did for suspenders in the 1990s what Robin Williams' Mork from "Ork" did in the 1980s - he made them cool. Steve Urkel: Well, because it's different. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Uh, uh isn't this the Zorro audition? Clarence has under control. Carl Otis Winslow: Society places too much emphasis on being thin. Laura Lee Winslow: Now, for the championship and the toaster oven, who made the first patented shoe sewing machine? Carl Otis Winslow: Well I talked to your boy Squeeze and he won't be bothering you for a long time. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Get lost, Laura! Judy Winslow: Mom, when's dinner? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, when I was about your age, I LOVED to read, just like you. The notion was apparently incongruous enough to ABC, the longtime home of the hit comedy ''Family Matters,'' which features the geeky Urkel character, that its executives . Pass the salt, Edward. [steps on the gas]. I never got an 'A' before. Laura: [as Steve walks he sobs and cries on Laura's shoulder] What's the matter baby, did you eat some bad cheese again? More like The Repulsions. With Squeeze I'm not safe nowhere. Bushwhacker Luke: Me mother was arrested by cops last night! I have feelings. Carl Otis Winslow: [fishing for the catch of a party Eddie wants to go to] Are his parents going to be there? "I'm Asian, so I'll eat your cat." 2. A spin-off of Perfect Strangers, the series revolves around the Winslow family, a middle-class African American family living in Chicago, Illinois. Steve Urkel: You teach us more than just things out of a textbook. Steve Urkel: [panicked] um perhaps you mean "biosphere"? Why, you teach us things about life! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [brings her in to meet the Winslows] Now don't worry, they don't bite, and even if they do they've had their shots.

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