Dont let this impact how much you admire your partner, but also leave an open door for checking on each other. then said "I Love you" for the first time. Its not just people with depression who distance themselves from others. It is the most confusing experience Ive ever had in my life. I am still grieving right now and will share my story. They no more experience any feelings and emotions, nor do they realize how important you are in his life. Does he appear sad and depressed after the breakup? She decided to break up because she doesnt want to keep being with me while she cant love me to the fullest, and hoping she wont keep feeling this way and wont hurt me while going through everything else that is going on in her stressful daily life. He said he doesnt want to hurt me anymore than he already has. He probably wants to distract himself so he doesnt see any reminders of you. Heres a picture explaining the difference between internal and external happiness. We were committed, we had goals, we had projects, we had a future together. If he didnt care about you when you needed him the most, he doesnt deserve you at your best either. If you want to get back to him even though he is depressed you can try to change things up. Our relationship feels like a burden to me now. I dont give him any bother and I dont react. He feels smothered by you and thinks he should stop feeling smothered before he can work on himself. It helps him focus on his issues and lets him not worry about yours. Hell most likely need some kind of incentive to respect you, love you, and want to be with you. then said "I Love you" for the first time. Follow Posted 4 years ago, 5 users are following. Ankylosing Spondylitis: Weve Got Your Back, Whats Next? Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. All the best to all Depression Fallout sufferers. More often than not, the stronger person eventually loses respect for the depressed person and thinks of him or her as a burden. So if your boyfriend broke up with you because of depression, dont immediately assume that his only issue is his mental health. We spent everyday focusing on our studies, our work, while building our love, our relashionship, looking forward to that future together where we would finally be able to be together. A dog or a cat will likely provide you with more comfort and security than someone who finds it excruciatingly painful to help his or her partner get through a difficult time. It wasnt my first relashionship but it was my first long-distance relashionship, i was unsure back then how to handle one or if it was even possible to keep. Also, that he still wants me in his life, but can't be romantic with me. My boyfriend is suffering from depression and he has been in a really bad mood lately saying how nobody cares about him and how life is pointless and meaningless and things like that and he just broke up with me a couple of hours ago. he says how he wants to be best friends and then later date but Im so scared we wont get to do either of those. My boyfriend and I broke up a couple of months ago. Hi there. But when something bad happens (not implying that it will), he could want someone to help him get through his misery. The following are some of the ways listed: Before you try reconnecting with your partner learn about what depression is and how its consequences lead to your breakup. I thought our love was stronger than this, its so crazy. I spoke about this to his psychiatrist as well as his parents. His friends had taken him to a psychiatrist & has been on medication ever since! 2) Is there any chance hell be back? We had a great relationship so I thought. Hes happy when everythings fine and unhappy or miserable when he cant get what he wants from you. My boyfriend with anxiety suddenly breaks up with me Bipolar boyfriend broke up with me and I'm having trouble coping. Or when he really starts to realize how much he misses me and starts feeling better? You have to make sure your husband/boyfriend is motivated to engage in day to day activities as well as recreations such as hobbies, games etc. That was why he broke up with you in the first place. Looks like we went through this horrible experience on the exact same day. His mother became ill which he had to take care of her and his own medical issues. It doesnt feel like it was time. He broke up with me. Dont let yourself get caught up in their diagnosis, enjoy the relationship as you would with any other one. She said she still has a lot of love for me, and care for me more than anyone else she knows, and that she still want me in her life, she wants to be there for me, and she wants me to be there for her, as we were best friends before being boyfriend/girlfriend. They dont explain that their exes drained their energy and made them feel smothered or guilty for not being able to reciprocate their feelings and meet their expectations. And just to be able to know Im still the person he wants to be with. As a human, a good friend, a well wisher please help them rather than making them feel they are responsible for the breakup. You have a lot to think about but there are resources and I wish you all the best as you try to figure this out. It can be inferred that your boyfriend might have had extreme mood fluctuations which made him take such a decision of breaking up. He does suffer from depression and anxiety issues and is on medication. Tell him how his behaviors are affecting the relationship and most importantly ruining your mental condition. You have no idea when (if ever) the pain will stop. There is a lot on Quora about why does my DP push me away? too. Avoid the things that you know make you feel worse. Ive been there for him this whole time but he never once got help. As a dumpee, you likely cant tell whether your ex-boyfriend is telling the truth or if hes just unhappy with you. I apologize for being so frank, but people with depression dont just have problems with themselves. Tharu. Taking a temporary job he dislikes. We've been going out over 5 years and hasn't seemed himself the past few months and then we were together and he suddenly broke down and told me he has developed anxiety and could be depressed and thinks we need to break up so can can be by himself too. The article then gets reviewed by a more senior editorial member. I could sleep and eat better now and could enjoy movie/books. In theory, once your ex feels better, he should once turn into his normal self. But he isnt doing that. He should understand that you werent the main cause of his issues and that hes ready to receive and give love. Everything seemed perfect, we had a beautiful, mature relationship for 2 years. To express my support and I got a message to not go to his house. Thats because theyve committed to each other and know that life isnt always a cakewalk. Eckard Tolle, best known as the author of The Power of Now says; Pleasure is always derived from something outside you, whereas joy arises from within. Why did my depressed boyfriend break up with me? When he broke up with me, he told me he couldn't be in a relationship right now and that he needed to be alone to figure his head out. He told me he didnt treat me the way I should be treated and I dont deserve that because Im an amazing person. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_12',117,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0'); And although sometimes they might not feel like their best self, a little support can go a long way, but again, keep in mind that not feeling good is something everyone experiences from time to time. They can try to make you feel insecure about yourself and the relationship, and with that, the relationship might become co-dependent. From the following article My depressed boyfriend broke up with me, you will gather information about the criticality and consequences of having a depressed partner. He told them "if it's not me, it's nobody else!" and sexually assaulted her with a pellet gun, records show . . I want back what we had. He asked me not to go to his house. Before the breakup, he ghosted me for a week almost & told me he needs to think about things. The first thing is people become dishonest. I regret i couldnt be there in real life for her when she needed me the most during the past months and due to COVID, i couldnt give her any physical love and reassure her, but i also know that i did everything i could, i was always there for her, and i made her the happiest girl on this world while i was her boyfriend. Continue with Recommended Cookies, Home Relationships My boyfriend is depressed and broke up with me (+ Understanding what happens), As a BetterHelp affiliate, we may receive compensation from BetterHelp if you purchase products or services through the links provided. My heart is broken. He even apologized for the relationship being one sided that he was sorry for neglecting me for 2 or 3 weeks and would do better. Hes to sad to even text me back saying that seeing my name makes him feel so depressed and how unhappy he is. People might also have a higher chance of getting depressed if they have been through a previous depressive episode, or they have a family history of depression. He could be so selfish and inconsiderate to the point that he did hurt me with his actions, but I always put it down to his own trauma. Over the phone, he broke up with me. He proceeded to hang out with his friends and cancelled on my twice in a weekend even the make-up plans he made. Notice self-criticism.Learn how to self soothe. Its not his fault, but the pain is making you feel frustrated, forcing you to appear out of character. Depression sometimes puts additional weight on a relationship and makes the couple struggle to stay emotionally connected. Mental health professionals specialized in the field of romantic relations are the ones who will help both of you cope with the situation and derive a solution. Imagine that your shoulder is hurting like crazy and that your boyfriend is trying to help you. And it is a grieving process. We still see each other because of an organization we're both apart of btw. Aside from that, it is important to know if his depression was caused by a specific situation, or if it is something they are still struggling with because if that is the case, they might not go back until it is resolved. For now, give him the space he needs and focus on yourself. maybe we can talk privately? My boyfriend has a terrible relationship with his dad. She is from the USA, and i am from France. But even though you might keep hoping that they will come back, try to focus your energy in your healing process, and on yourself. Yes. Lets reverse roles for a minute. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. If he thinks he needs some space and time to be left alone, offer that to him. MBTI, Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, and Myers-Briggs are trademarks or registered trademarks of the Myers and Briggs Foundation, Inc., in the United States and other countries.Personality Articles Disclaimer: The articles listed under the Personality Category contain information from external sources whose accuracy and reliability is not guaranteed. And he believes him. I also gave birth 5 hours after his mum passed so I strongly believe he has a lot of emotions that hasnt dealt with. Breakups are always difficult, going through one can be a traumatic experience. When we broke up he told me the break up was neither our faults, that it was our trauma and he just couldnt meet my needs, that all he did was hurt me and I deserved better than him.